Ms Betterhome


Domesticity
October 12, 2009, 5:37 am
Filed under: about me, home & hearth, learning

I know that ‘homemaking’ is a classically feminine trait, but it my case, it’s always been a relatively ungendered thing. In my experience, men aren’t from Mars, women aren’t from Venus; and same-sex couples have the same wrangles about housekeeping and domestic routines that straight couples do.

I was raised by a creative feminist mum, who was herself the daughter of a creative , feminist woman. We all like cooking, we’re all nurturing, my mum is a huge knitter & gardener (my grandma is a trained visual artist, rather than a crafty person), but none of us are particularly neat.

I don’t ‘see’ mess a lot of the time, though I appreciate a clean & tidy space. All of my live-in partners have been male, and I’ve always been the messy one. I do the laundry & dishes, mop the floors, clean the bathroom… I’m not dirty. But basic untidyness? Not a problem. Although I don’t believe a messy house makes me a bad person, as I’ve grown older (& busier & busier at work), I’ve actually found it more important to see housekeeping as a form of ‘self-care’. For that reason, I’ve found the Flylady mailing list very helpful – it has helped me establish routines so I don’t have to worry about housework.

Although she’s US based, and quite conservative in many ways, I’ve been able to adapt a lot of her messages to suit my more unconventional life.

Queer…hetero…married…single… we still need a peaceful home.

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